Thursday, August 18, 2005

I've found the woman I love...

Unfortunately, she's only a character in a book--and only a supporting character at that:

"So, who's this Suzie, that Eddie said we'd meet at the Fortress?...An old flame? An old enemy?"


"Does she owe you a favor too?"

"Not so much a favor; more like a bullet in the back of the head. So...Suzie Shooter. Also known as Shotgun Suzie, also known as Oh God, it's her, run! The only woman ever thrown out of the SAS for unacceptable brutality."

and later...

"Tell me more about this Suzie Shooter we might be running into at the Fortress. She sounds...fascinating."

"Oh, she's all that and more, is Suzie. She tracks down runaway villains like a hunter on the trail of big game. There's nowhere they can hide that she won't go after them, no protection so overwhelming that she won't go charging right in, guns blazing. Not the most subtle of people, Suzie, but definitely one of the most determined. No job ever turned down, no target ever too dangerous, if the price is right. Suzie's been known to use every kind of gun known to man, as well as a few she's had made up specially, but mostly she prefers the pump-action shotgun. You can usually tell where she's been, because it's on fire. And you can track her down by following the kicked-in doors, scattered screaming, and blood splashed up the walls. Her presence can start a fight, or stop one. Hell of a woman."

"Is she likely to be a help, or a hindrance?"

"Hard to tell. Suzie's not the easiest of people to work with, especially if you prefer to bring your quarry back alive. Suzie's a killer. She only became a bounty hunter because it provides her with a mostly legal excuse for shooting lots of people."

We finally meet Suzie:

"Suzie Shooter stood up and snarled at me. She had to be in her late twenties now, and still looked good enough to eat. If you didn't mind a meal that would very definitely bite back. As always, Suzie was dressed in black motorcycle leathers, adorned with steel chains and studs, and two bandoliers of bullets crossing her impressive chest. Knee-length leather boots with steel toe-caps completed the look. Suzie had seen Girl on a Motorcycle and Easy Rider more times than was healthy, and loved every Hell's Angels movie Roger Corman ever made."

"She had a striking face, with a strong bone structure, ending in a determined jaw, and she kept her shoulder-length straw-blond hair back out of her face with a leather headband supposedly fashioned from the hide of the first man she'd killed. When she was twelve. Her eyes were a very dark blue, cold and unwavering, and her tightly pursed mouth rarely relaxed into a smile, except in the midst of mayhem and bloodshed, where she felt most at home. She'd never been known to suffer fools gladly, spent her money as fast as it came in, and in general kicked arse with vim and enthusiasm...Standing there, set against the curling smoke and swaying lights of the corridor, she looked like a Valkyrie from Hell."

"Let me guess," I said, just a little tiredly, "You smashed your way in, demanded they turn your bounty over to you, and when they declined, you declared war. Right?"

"I have serious paper on this guy," said Suzie. "And they were very rude to me."

I looked at Suzie, who shrugged. "All they have to do is hand over my bounty, and I'm out of here."

"If we hand him over, you'll kill him. He came to us for sanctuary."

"The man has a point," I said. "You do tend towards bringing them in dead, rather than alive."

"Less paperwork," said Suzie.

I'm in love :)

Catching up

I've been meaning to catch up on here, but just haven't done it yet.

Got back from the beach, where I spent a week with my family. Had a great time. Didn't do a lot--mostly hung out in the house and read. My parents were there, as were my grandparents, my aunts, one of my uncles, my brother and his girlfriend, a couple of my cousins, and a couple of their friends. Wish Uncle Rick, and my sister, my brother-in-law, and my niece could have been there as well, but that's the way it goes sometimes. Maybe next year.

Back at work now, and things are same as usual. I was invited to apply for a telecommuting job by someone who saw my resume online. I'll take it if they make the offer--I'm sure I can find someone to replace me at my current job, and I'll make myself available for consulting for a while after I leave.

Anyway, not much exciting in this post--just figured I'd give my 2 or 3 readers an update (even tho a couple of them probably already know).